Where am I???
I don't really know. You might be at home or at work. I guess you're on the internet if you're reading this. Or maybe you're on a bus, reading this on your phone. Are you on a bus? Where are you going?
You guys bake cookies?
Yes. Crazy, huh? They're really good cookies. Really.
Wait, you bake cookies, then deliver them to me?
Yes. Crazy, huh? They're really good cookies. Really. And yes, we deliver. We do one delivery day per week in both Columbus and Cleveland. Actually, I take that back. We used to do a delivery day in Cleveland, but it turns out that people in Cleveland aren't really too keen on cookie delivery. Which is totally fine, tomato, tomaaahto. Do you actually know anyone who pronounces it "tomaaahto"? Anyway, the current delivery day in Columbus is on Sunday, and if you're not around Columbus, we can also mail cookies to you.
What is your delivery area?
Here's a handy map [accurately rendered by the person who writes this blog] to show you the delivery area. The basic rule for local delivery is "Within a 30 minute drive from the center of the city." Pretty much everything within 270 is covered. If you're just outside 270, in the Pants Free Zone, for example, you still might be covered. Just shoot us an email [firstname.lastname@example.org] or use the contact form if you have any questions.
Why is Celebrity Apprentice still on tv?
I have no idea. Also, all the celebrities are so…bad at being on The Apprentice.
I have a problem with my order. :(
Why is that cookie called I'M NOT A SNICKERDOODLE?
Well, because it's not a snickerdoodle. There's no cinnamon in it, which is an essential part of a snickerdoodle. Read more about The INAS, and all the other cookies, here.
Do you make things besides cookies?
Unfortunately, we do not, at this moment, make anything besides cookies. We wanted to make sure whatever we made was the bestest in the world, so we concentrated on one thing, and one thing only: cookies.
Well, you're called "Rogue Bakery", but if you only make cookies, why didn't you just call yourself "Rogue Cookies?"
Well, as I said, we don't make anything besides cookies…at this moment in time. That could change. You never know… ;)
Are your cookies Vegan and/or Gluten-Free?
Two of the cookies offered are Vegan and Gluten-Free: Chocolate Liberator and Ancho Chili Peanut Butter. In the future, we hope to offer more Gluten-Free and Vegan cookies.
Do any of your cookies have Beef or Chicken?
Currently, we do not offer any cookies that contain Beef or Chicken. In the future, we hope to offer more Beef and Chicken cookies.
If I order cookies to be mailed, when will I get my cookies?
Cookie orders are shipped Wednesday of each week via USPS Priority Mail (2-3 days). Any cookie mail order received before Tuesday will be shipped on the following Wednesday. Every order received after Wednesday will be shipped the following Wednesday.
You're called Rogue Bakery. Do you steal your cookies from other bakeries?
Yes, we do. Usually we do this at night, when people are asleep. After stealing them, we perform super top-secret magic, and make them into Rogue Bakery cookies. Of course, we don't. You didn't actually believe that, did you?
I'm sorry, my dog asked that last question about Beef and Chicken cookies. I left my iPad out, and he got to it. I didn't know he knew how to type on the touchscreen!
Oh, it's okay. But maybe he just wants some Rogue Bakery Dog Cookies? Hmm…that may be something we'll consider. I hate typing on touchscreens, personally.
Do you do custom orders?
Yes, we do! We can do custom orders of any size, like cookie platters for weddings and other fun parties. And we also do custom-shaped Shapeshifter cookies for an additional fee. Contact us for more details! :)
I really like chocolate.
That's not really a question. But, did you know that possibly eating chocolate can help you lose weight ?
I really like Jessie j's song domino.
SO DO I!!! Let's watch the video.
I don't live in Columbus, but I'd like to order cookies for someone who does live in Columbus. Is that possible?
Of course it is! Everyone loves a gift of cookies delivered to their door. Just head on over to the store, order cookies that are available for local delivery, and be sure to give the recipient's address when filling out the order form.
Why are your cookies so good?
It might have to do with the fact that the cookies contain at least 15% love by volume. Love always makes things taste good. I mean, *I* think the cookies are good, but I don't know if that's an across-the-board statement for everyone. Different strokes for different folks, you know? I mean, maybe Arnold likes I'M NOT A SNICKERDOODLE! Mr. Drummond might like Chips Ahoy!™, even though he's super-rich. If you really like the cookies, well thanks! Tell us about it on our Facebook page.
Are you on Twitter, too?
Why yes, we are! Twitter is where we spend most of our time talking to you guys. So if you have a question or just want to talk, feel free to mention us @RogueBakery. You can also always see the latest (possibly ridiculous) tweet at roguebakery.com.