Where am I???

I don't really know. You might be at home or at work. I guess you're on the internet if you're reading this. Or maybe you're on a bus, reading this on your phone. Are you on a bus? Where are you going?

You guys bake cookies?

Yes. Crazy, huh? They're really good cookies. Really.

Wait, you bake cookies, then deliver them to me?

Yes. Crazy, huh? They're really good cookies. Really. And yes, we deliver. We do one delivery day per week in both Columbus and Cleveland. Actually, I take that back. We *used* to do a delivery day in Cleveland, but it turns out that people in Cleveland aren't really too keen on cookie delivery. Which is totally fine, tomato, tomaaahto. Do you actually know anyone who pronounces it "tomaaahto"? Anyway, the current delivery day in Columbus is on Sunday, and if you're not around Columbus, we can also mail cookies to you.

How does this local delivery thing work? When will I get my cookies?

If you live in Columbus, and you place your cookie order before 12am Saturday [Friday night at midnight], your order will be scheduled for delivery on Sunday. Delivery on Sundays in Columbus starts at 12pm, and goes on through out the day. We cannot give you a specific time when your delivery will be made, because it depends on the number of orders that come in during the week, and to what areas in Columbus those orders are to be delivered. We cannot guarantee a specific time when your delivery will be made, because…this is a pretty small operation, and we currently have one delivery vehicle. BUT, we will make every attempt possible to make sure you have your cookies on Sunday. If you think you may have some issues regarding delivery, please feel free to message us via the form on our Contact page.

Do I have to be home for delivery?

Honestly, only you can answer that. If someone is not home during delivery, and if the driver believes the cookies can be left safely and securely at the door of the house, then they will be left. Many customers actually prefer this, as that means they can head out to a late brunch, pick up some groceries, go for a run, etc. and know that they will come home to cookies. :) However, some apartment dwellers [especially those who have a secure building entrance for resident access only] may not be able to have their cookies left at their door. In these cases, please contact Rogue Bakery to work out details in order to have your cookies delivered to you when you are home.

What is your delivery area?

Here's a handy map [accurately rendered by the person who writes this blog] to show you the delivery area. The basic rule for local delivery is "Within a 30 minute drive from the center of the city." Pretty much everything within 270 is covered. If you're just outside 270, in the Pants Free Zone, for example, you still might be covered. Just shoot us an email [info@roguebakery.com] or use the contact form if you have any questions.

I have a problem with my order. :(

I'm so sorry! Please email us right away at info@roguebakery.com or fill out the contact form here, and we will fix your cookie problem. :)

What are your thoughts about the latest Dancing With The Stars contestants?

Oh, do I have some thoughts on this! Let's go through them one by one:

Bonner Bolton - model/bull rider - Yeah, I don't know this guy. If America loves him for some reason, he could be a wildcard.

Charo - incredible flamenco guitarist/singer/comedian/Cuchi-Chuchi lady - She's going to be the fiery, fun dancer. And I'm sure she still has some moves left in her.

Chris Kattan - comedian/actor/one of A Night At The Roxbury guys - The jokester. If he can move, he's got a chance.

David Ross - requisite sports ball player - He's in it to appeal to the guys who may be forced to watch this with their significant other. Chances of winning? Nope. I'm calling it.

Erika Jayne - real housewife/dance song hit maker? - I haven't watched the Real Houswives of Beverly Hills in a while, so I don't know her. I've also don't recognize the names of any of her songs, but I bet if I heard some of them, I'd remember. Anyway, yeah, she's not winning.

Heather Morris - played Brittany S. Pierce on Glee, oh, and she's also A PROFESSIONAL DANCER - Way to put in a ringer, ABC. Seriously, do you know that she was in the second season of So You Think You Can Dance?, and just missed being in the top 20? But it's okay, this "amateur" dancer got a nice gig as one of Beyonce's back-up dancers on tour! Yeah, she was an actor on Glee, too. Let's be real: she's a straight up DANCER. Look at this video of her performing Single Ladies with the Queen and you tell me if she's going to be able to take ballroom dancing choreography...partnered with MAKSIM of all people. That's a one-two punch to the other celebrity dancers' collective guts.


Mr. T - big mohawk guy from The A-Team - I'm not sure what kind of moves TV's B.A. Baracus has, but I'm sure he'll be fun to watch. And people know him better than the bull rider/model.

Nancy Kerrigan - professional ice skater/knee whackee - If there's a second class of ringer, besides professional dancers, it's figure skaters. Why? Because they know how to take direction, and they know how to learn routines, which dancing and figure skating have in common. If she's graceful on the ice, there's a chance she's graceful on the floor.

Nick Viall - The Bachelor that just won't leave - Seriously, we just watched a whole season of this wishy washy dude, and now we have to watch a whole other season of him being wishy washy as he dances? If his wishy washy-ness doesn't wear you down, his strange lisp that comes out every so often, will. Did I mention I'm tired of this wishy washy Bachelor guy?

Normani Kordei - a fraction of Fifth Harmony, which was created on the reality show The X-Factor - I have this feeling that people get on reality TV shows, just so they can do more reality TV shows. Anyway, I'm sure ABC is betting that young people will know her and watch the show, even though there are no Disney Channel TV show stars in the line-up.

Rashad Jennings - Sports ball player...the OTHER kind of sports ball - Again, he's here for the males who will be forced to watch. You never know, he could be a surprise.

Simone Biles - everyone's favorite Olympic gymnast/Zac Efron fan - She is the third class of ringer, behind actual dancers and figure skaters. Why? Have you seen a gymnastic floor routine? That's basically choreographed dancing. And she's someone that parents and kids will recognize. I bet Simone will do great.

Why is that cookie called I'M NOT A SNICKERDOODLE?

Well, because it's not a snickerdoodle. There's no cinnamon in it, which is an essential part of a snickerdoodle. Read more about The INAS, and all the other cookies, here.

Do you make things besides cookies?

Unfortunately, we do not, at this moment, make anything besides cookies. We wanted to make sure whatever we made was the bestest in the world, so we concentrated on one thing, and one thing only: cookies.

Well, you're called "Rogue Bakery", but if you only make cookies, why didn't you just call yourself "Rogue Cookies?"

Well, as I said, we don't make anything besides cookies…at this moment in time. That could change. You never know! ;)

Do you think that Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton as a couple on The Voice is annoying?


Are your cookies Vegan and/or Gluten-Free?

Two of the cookies offered are Vegan and Gluten-Free: Chocolate Liberator and Ancho Peanut Butter. In the future, we hope to offer more Gluten-Free and Vegan cookies.

What's up with that Kazoo Kid?

I HAVE NO IDEA. He's sooooooo creepy. You wouldn't think a kid playing a kazoo could be that creepy…but he is. To see the most of the creepiness, check out this remix.

Do you sell your cookies at any retail locations in Columbus?

Yes we do! You can find our cookies at Hemingway's Coffee Nook (first floor of 175 On The Park building Downtown), The Hills Market Downtown, The Hills Market Worthington, Kingmakers Game Parlour in the Short North, Ace of Cups bar near Hudson and High, and Lulu's Sweet Shop candy store in Uptown Westerville. Selection may vary by store, so if you’re looking for a specific cookie you can’t find in the store, you can demand the establishment to carry the cookie! Alternatively, you can order directly from us online, and we’ll deliver it to you!

Do any of your cookies have Beef or Chicken?

Currently, we do not offer any cookies that contain Beef. We have a fried chicken cookie, which has no chicken in it, but it tastes like chicken. We did have a cookie that tasted like Thanksgiving stuffing, and that had some chicken broth in it. Does that count? We do offer a cookie that tastes like Ranch Dressing, which would probably pair well with a Beef or Chicken cookie...if we made one...which we could...maybe...in the future...?.

Rogue Bakery makes some strange cookies. What other strange cookie ideas do you have?

People always think of the cookie as, well, a cookie. It's a snack. It's a dessert. But you know, it doesn't have to be. Here at Rogue Bakery, we think, "Why can't a cookie be (blank)?" What if cookies were like bread, and you would use them to make sandwiches. No, not ice cream sandwiches. What about cookie chicken sandwiches?? Or what if cookies were a side dish, like mashed potatoes, and carrots? Like, what if, for dinner, you had meatloaf with a side of potato and carrot cookies? Or what if cookie flavors changed, depending on what you ate them with? So many possibilities!

If I order cookies to be mailed, when will I get my cookies?

Cookie orders are shipped Wednesday of each week via USPS Priority Mail (2-3 days). Any cookie mail order received before Tuesday will be shipped on the following Wednesday. Every order received ON Tuesday through the following Monday will be shipped on Wednesday of the following week. So, basically, the last day you can place a mail order and have your cookies received the same week is on Monday. tl;dr: place mail orders on Monday. :)

You're called Rogue Bakery. Do you steal your cookies from other bakeries?

Yes, we do. Well, *WE* don't. We hire elves. Usually they do this at night, when people are asleep. After stealing them, they deliver them to us, and we perform super top-secret magic, and make them into Rogue Bakery cookies. When I say "super top-secret magic", I really mean we change the packaging and the labels. Of course, we don't have elves steal cookies from other bakeries. You didn't actually believe that, did you?

I need a big cookie. You know, like the kind that you get for someone's birthday. Do you make those?

We sure do! And it's a big one. The Rogue Bakery Big Cookie is 16 inches in diameter. Yeah, it's not a wuss of a cookie, like the big cookies you get in a grocery store. I'm not sure how many it serves, but I can tell you that it's the same amount of dough as two dozen normal Rogue Bakery cookies.

I'm sorry, my dog asked that question about Beef and Chicken cookies. I left my iPad out, and he got to it. I didn't know he knew how to type on the touchscreen!

Oh, it's okay. But maybe he just wants some Rogue Bakery Dog Cookies? Hmm…that may be something we'll consider. I hate typing on touchscreens, personally. Your dog must be skilled, because it must be really hard to type with paws.

Do you do custom orders?

Yes, we do! We can do custom orders of any size, like cookie platters for weddings and other fun parties. And we also do custom-shaped Shapeshifter cookies for an additional fee. Contact us for more details! :)

I really like chocolate.

That's not really a question. But, did you know that possibly eating chocolate can help you lose weight ? And if that's the case, you should check out the Dark Chocolate Chip + Sea Salt, and the Chocolate Chocolate Chip + Sea Salt. Those two cookies should help you lose a lot of weight…

Do you miss Vine? I sure do.

Yes. Yes, we do. Have you seen this Vine/Chance the Rapper thing? So good.

I don't live in Columbus, but I'd like to order cookies for someone who does live in Columbus. Is that possible?

Of course it is! Everyone loves a gift of cookies delivered to their door. Just head on over to the store, order cookies that are available for local delivery, and be sure to give the recipient's address when filling out the order form.

Why are your cookies so good?

It might have to do with the fact that the cookies contain at least 15% love by volume. Love always makes things taste good. I mean, *I* think the cookies are good, but I don't know if that's an across-the-board statement for everyone. Different strokes for different folks, you know? I mean, maybe Arnold likes I'M NOT A SNICKERDOODLE! Mr. Drummond might like Chips Ahoy!™, even though he's super-rich. If you really like the cookies, well thanks! Tell us about it on our Facebook page.

Are you on Twitter, too?

Why yes, we are! Twitter is where we spend most of our time talking to you guys. Did you know that, years ago, we started exclusively on Twitter? So if you have a question or just want to talk, feel free to mention us @RogueBakery.

How about Instagram? Are you on Instagram?

Why yes, we are! We post food pics, not just cookie pics, because, hey, we like eating stuff other than cookies! Please follow us so we can be friends! :)

How about Snapchat? Do you Snap?

We do Snap! We're "RogueBakery" on there! But we're new, and we're still figuring stuff out. Why? Because we're trying to figure out what stuff to post that's not on Twitter or Instagram.


News & Stuff

It's voting time again...

Didn't we just do this?? It's voting time for the Columbus Alive: Best of 2017 Readers' Poll! Please please please consider voting for Rogue Bakery in category #30 for Best Local Treat, and category #101 for Best Brand Without A Storefront [which we've won 4 years in a row, thanks to you guys :-)]. Voting goes through MARCH 2, 2017, so cast your vote before then!

Source: Columbus Alive: Best of 2017 Poll

TimeOut Thinks We're Awesome

TimeOut made a list of the 15 best cookies in America, and guess what? Rogue Bakery made the list! WOO HOO!!!! PRETTY COOL, HUH?!? Click on the link to read the whole list!

Source: TimeOut: The 15 Best Cookies In America

You voted...and WE WON!

No, not the US presidential election! You voted for us in Columbus Alive: Best of 2016 Readers' Poll, and Rogue Bakery won Best Brand Without A Storefront! To recap, you've voted us Best Brand Without A Storefront in 2013, 2014, 2015, and now 2016! Thank you so much for voting for us! We're so excited and honored that we've put exclamation points after each sentence in this paragraph! Click below to see all of the winners!

Source: Columbus Alive: Best of 2016 Winners

It's voting time again...

No, not the US presidential primaries. It's voting time for the Columbus Alive: Best of 2016 Readers' Poll! Please please please consider voting for Rogue Bakery in the categories for Best Local Treat, and Best Brand Without A Storefront [which we've won 3 years in a row, thanks to you guys :-)]. Voting goes through February 28th, so do it before then!

Source: Columbus Alive: Best of 2016 Poll

OMG that cookie so BIG...

You asked for it, and now you got it. A very large Rogue Bakery cookie aptly named BIG COOKIE. It's a big cookie. No, really, it's BIG. We're not talking those painfully small and thin grocery store big cookies. This cookie, which contains the same amount of cookie dough as two dozen regular Rogue Bakery cookies, is the size of a large16 inch pizza. And funny enough, it's packaged in a 16 inch pizza box! Right now, BIG COOKIE [in select varieties] is only available locally, because how do you ship a giant cookie in a pizza box?

Source: BIG COOKIE in the Rogue Bakery Online Store

Get cookies at another place in town...

Rogue Bakery has teamed up with a new candy store in Uptown Westerville, Lulu's Sweet Shop! A selection of Rogue Bakery cookies [SURPRISE! What? Did you think we were going to sell falafel or something? It's a candy store.] will be available at the shop, right next to all the fun modern/retro candy and specialty sodas they have. Check out the store! And when you go, tell someone at the counter "Rogue Bakery sent me!"

Rogue Bakery is in no way responsible for what happens after you say "Rogue Bakery sent me!"

Source: Lulu's Sweet Shop [website, Instagram, Facebook]

Thanking Dogs That Can Cook...AGAIN

Seriously, where does Peppermint Patty get off inviting herself over to Charlie Brown's house, and then expecting a turkey dinner? And then when she gets a dinner of jelly beans, pretzel sticks, popcorn, and buttered toast, she doesn't like it?? Anyway, the Beagle Thanksgiving cookie is back. You know, it's that Rogue Bakery cookie that has all the things that Snoopy served to that ungrateful Peppermint Patty on A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving.

Source: Rogue Bakery on Facebook

Cookies and the local arts scene: almost like "cookies and milk"...

Rogue Bakery is proud to be a sponsor of Wild Goose Creative's #WildArtColumbus, which goes on for the month of September. In this month-long initiative to bring new art to the tiny screen, a different Columbus artist and their work is showcased as they post to Wild Goose Creative's social media sites. We'll be sponsoring local artist Jimbo Tamoro, whose work will be shown on September 20th. Jimbo is a long-time Rogue Bakery friend, and when you see his work (and read his bio...click on his name above), you'll understand why we feel he is on the Rogue Bakery "List of Awesome Peeps".

Source: Wild Goose Creative's #wildartcolumbus

You got some brownie in you? Want some? Introducing The Bro.

We love bros here at Rogue Bakery. They make the world great, or at least kinda alright. They also say "dude" a lot. And "Broseph." Do you think there's anyone out there actually named Broseph? Free cookies to that guy! Speaking of cookies, The Bro is a brand new cookie. What makes it great? Well, there's a little bit of dark chocolatey brownie inside that unassuming cookie. That's right, there's a brownie INSIDE a cookie. It's crazy, dude. Like, totally weird. Right now, it's only available for local Columbus delivery, but keep your eye out, interested mail order people. It should be coming into the mail order section of the online store in a little bit. You're still thinking about how a brownie can get inside a cookie, aren't you? Well, while you're trying to get your head around that, I'm going to go lift, dude

Source: The Bro 4-pack in the Rogue Bakery online store

Rogue Bakery: Columbus Best Brand Without A Storefront 3 years in a row!

Well, this feels vaguely familiar. Anyway, thanks to everyone who voted for Rogue Bakery in Columbus Alive: Best of Columbus 2015 poll! Rogue Bakery won Best Brand Without A Storefront for 2015! Three years in a row! And be sure to check out all the winners of Columbus Alive: Best of Columbus 2015 poll.

Source: Columbus Alive Best of Columbus 2015

Chicken and Ranch: Savory Cookies, or buddy cop TV show?

Do you like food trends? Columbus does! And this summer, it was all about the fried chicken! But now it is October, so it might be time to give this trend a proper sendoff...by making fried chicken into a cookie. That's right, Rogue Bakery has made the Chicken Dinner Box: all the flavors of a chicken dinner, but in cookie form. Oh, and for those who just want some cookies that taste like salad dressing (?), the Ranch cookie is back, this time with the tangy goodness of real buttermilk! Remember when it was featured on The Chew this time last year? Good times. Read more about this stuff in the link below!

Source: Rogue Bakery Says: The Official Blog of Rogue Bakery

Columbus Monthly: Best of Columbus 2014 issue is out! Guess who is in it? ;)

The latest issue of Columbus Monthly is out, and it is their annual Best of Columbus issue, and Rogue Bakery is in it! Hooray! Be sure to pick up a copy, so you can see what other fine establishments were picked as the Best of Columbus!

Source: Columbus Monthly Magazine

WTF?!? The WTF is featured in Columbus Monthly!

The May 2014 issue of Columbus Monthly came out, and it is all about DESSERTS. I know. Check out the delicious treats available from Columbus bakers, including the Rogue Bakery WTF cookie. The issue is on newsstands now, wherever fine magazines are sold. . .like Kroger, where I bought my 20 copies. ;)

Source: Columbus Monthly Magazine

You like us! You really really like us!

Columbus Alive has nominated Rogue Bakery for two categories in their Best of Columbus 2014 poll! Last year we won Best Brand Without A Storefront, and this year, we are back to defend our title, and possibly add a new one: Best Local Treat. Please help us win these coveted titles, so we can hold our head up high, proud to being a provider of the best local treat, without having a storefront! Cast your vote for Rogue Bakery at the Columbus Alive Best of Columbus 2014 poll before FEBRUARY 28TH AT NOON ALL CAPS EXCLAMATION POINT. That is when the voting ends.

Source: Columbus Alive Best of Columbus 2014

Thanking Dogs That Can Cook

A Charlie Brown Thanksgiving is a great holiday special because it teaches you that a) kids are kind of dumb/ungrateful and b) dogs are amazing chefs. To show our gratitude for b, Rogue Bakery has created a special cookie. Read our post on Facebook about the Beagle Thanksgiving Cookie. Available for a limited time, it comes in both local delivery and mail order flavors.

Source: Rogue Bakery on Facebook

Made of Ranch

So we have this Ranch cookie; you know, a cookie that tastes like ranch salad dressing…because why the hell not? Maybe you've seen it some place, like on, oh I don't know, ABC's The Chew?? Or, you were at work, and didn't catch it? NEVER FEAR. Here's a link to the episode. They talk about the Rogue Bakery Ranch cookie within the first 5 minutes of the show. Also, I don't think Daphne Oz even took a bite of it. WHATEVER.

Source: The Chew

Ranch Cookie Blows Minds

Rebecca Orchant from the Huffington Post loves ranch dressing. Can you blame her? Ranch is delicious. Naturally, she had to try the Rogue Bakery Ranch Cookies. We may have blown her mind with them. Well, that's what the title of the article says. Read it!

Source: Huffington Post

New Website Super-Launched.

See this new website? It’s new. And it’s launched. You’re looking at it right now. Like literally, as you read this, you are reading a piece of the new website. This is not a joke.